My Cinderella

Inspired by a story from a friend of mine, here it goes mine.

When I was a little girl, Cinderella is one of my favorite fairy tales. Cinderella is a beautiful girl who has a miserable life caused by her stepmother and stepsisters. But at the end of story, she finds a handsome prince who marries her and takes her into a better life. At those times, I only know two kinds of feeling, love and hate. So I hate her stepmother and stepsisters and of course I love the prince.

It never crossed in my mind that my life will follow her path. It’s not like I’m having a miserable life, no. But somehow, I’m having a stepmother and stepsister. It was about four years ago since my dad decided to marry a woman who has a daughter from her past marriage. I won’t make this into a drama story with lot of sadness and end with happiness; well I’m just trying to share my feelings about having them in my life.

Living with a woman who has a very different character with my mother is not easy at all. Plus, I never have a sister in my life, never. I am my parent’s only daughter with the one and only brother. So, having another girl in the house is kinda weird.

Generally, my stepmother tries to act like all mothers and so far she does it well, not too much. And it helps me to accept her presence in the house where I still see my mother’s shadows everywhere. Sometimes she put herself as a stepmother and sometimes as my father’s wife. No, those roles are never being the same. As for me, she makes it so far.

Having a little stepsister is a cute simple thing, for most of time. Suddenly I become a role model; my appearance, my achievement, my attitude, my hobbies, most of the thing I do, she’ll follow. How cool! But, you never can predict what a teenager can do. Note that! I never imagine that forget to lock my wardrobe or even my room can be so damn irritating. How could it be? It could, just when I realize that my things aren’t in the place they suppose to. Some are moving, and some are just gone. Now you know what I mean?

Never have this kind of situation making me a little bit confuse to react. Instead of asking to all people about my stuff, I’m sneaking to my stepsister’s room and as predicted, I found them. Not that easy to find, they are hidden in a secure place. And what’s next, I ask myself. I don’t want to make my stepsister as an enemy, so I avoid facing her directly. I come to my stepmother in order to have an objective judge. But I forget something, some big thing; that a mother always loves her daughter more than anyone else. No, it’s not a subjective opinion; it’s just what exactly happens.

So, there am I; in my room, without my stuff. Where are they? I left them in where they’re hidden. I didn’t take them since I was too shock to face the reality, where honesty is no longer exist in my house, in the house where I raised with it. I think it has gone with my mother.

Since that day, having a stepmother and stepsister is not cool at all, at all. I don’t hate them, since I have thousand kinds of emotional reaction in my heart now. It’s no longer love and hate, those two are never sufficient to interpret all life’s messages. They don’t treat me like a Cinderella, never, lucky me. But one thing, somehow they just act like her stepmother and sisters. They’re putting away honesty out of the house.

Remembering that, I miss my mother’s presence a lot. Wish she’s doing her life very well now, with her honesty lesson that she’ll bring anywhere she is.

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Twinkle little star

One day, on a business trip with some colleagues from other departments, I was trapped in a situation where everybody there should tell a simple story in order to get better know each other. And there we were, in a Hawaiian restaurant, enjoying our cocktail. I have no story to share, my mind said. “It’s better if it’s a funny story,” one said. Oh yeah, I don’t even have one which is not funny at all! Fyyuuuhhh.. I hate business trip! Shouldn’t we just do the business thing here?

All I remember is just the scene of people talking and laughing. While me, I was trapped in my own mind, tried to find a story that I can share. My turn finally came; “Aaaa… ooo… mmm… I don’t have any story to share, guys.” They were disappointed, I should have one, they forced. “Mmmm… I really don’t have one. I’m so sorry. I’m a typical of story listeners than tellers,” I explained. It was just my trick, they said. Ouf! Why it was so hard to convincing them than my little nieces? How I love children than the adults.

“I guess its fine, guys! Not everybody can tell a good story. I agree with her.” Hey! Who is that, an angel? I turned my head left, there were he, wearing a red shirt with a white cap on his head. Cool. I smiled, thanking him; he smiled back to me, welcoming. “Hmm.. but some people are a very good singer,” he proposed while winking. Guess he is an angel! Why a savior can be so cute at a same time? Dear God. “Hmmm.. hhhmm… well I can try. I’m surely not a good singer, but I think I still can do it better than tell a story.” Everybody was clapping their hand; good. I stood up, tried to clear my throat first. “Ok, don’t hesitate to stop me if you feel like hell, okay?” I reminded them. “Ok!” everybody agreed.

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high

Like a diamond in a star

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are

I sang, seriously. I saw people laugh, happily. Hey! It’s even better than a funny story! My mind said. In the middle of my song, I looked to the left, fast. And I saw him, my angel, laughing so loud while moving his body back. I smiled. But wait a second; I don’t look like a clown now, right? Hmm.. I don’t think so. I repeated my favorite song once again, since it’s a very short song. And finally I finished it. People were applauding and clapping their hands. Good job! Hmm.. I kinda start to like business trip, I guess.

“Hey little star!” a voice form my back when I putted diner salad on my plate. Oh, it was him! I just smiled, speechless. “I don’t know that star eat salad.” Is he seducing me? Well I hope so. “Star even eat steak sometime, depends on her mood.” I replied. Am I seducing him? Sure. “Hahahaha… She seems doesn’t like diet thing, hein?” “Hahahahaa…” we laughed and after that we ate our dinner in a same table and spent that night with champagne until the restaurant closed.

The morning came and I enjoyed the sunshine from my window. No, I didn’t have him beside me on my bed. Come on, it’s not a Hollywood movie, guys! He went back to his room while I rested in mine. But yes, it was bloody fun last night. He is a very nice man to chat with. Her wife must be very lucky having him in her life. Oh yes, he is married, girls. I’m so sorry. Hahahaa.. Why didn’t I have a one night stand with him? No, no, no. I’m not that kind of girl, not anymore. In fact, I did once, two years ago, with a man that I call husband now.

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KAPUTT!

When I first came to PTEN, the company where I spend 9 hours a day, more than three years ago, my weight was about 42 kg. I was one of the girls who had a problem with their weight; I just couldn’t increase it since years. So there I was, entered one of the skyscraper in Jakarta wearing one of my best work suite and a nice high-heels.

And this morning, guess it was nearly thousand times I passed the building gate; I wore a shirt and skirt which their colors are far from what we call shiny and a pair of slippers. Yup, I wear slippers lately, wherever I go. Isn’t it good remembering the dangerous side of high-heels? Hah, just a justification I made! Lol.

I reached elevator to go to 18^th level and stayed calm inside for couple of minutes. Do you know that our elevator here work very fast? It only takes about one minute to reach 18^th level without stopping. While waiting, I usually checking my hair and clothes through the elevator wall that can reflects us like a mirror. And guess what? I found a big reflection of my self. I mean it, big; big cheek, big stomach and also big hand. And my cute big cheek starts to hide my tiny chin now. Haissshh…

Am I exaggerating? Yes, I am. Hehehe.. I’m not that big, I know. But, compared with three years ago, I’m distended! Oh! Now I know why my zipper always going down every time I seat! Haha! I gained weight and I didn’t work out. I did, but about once a month. Can we call it a work out though?

Are you curious how much is my weight now? No? Sorry, only yes answer is accepted. I’m 52 kg now! Yahoo!! Isn’t that an accomplishment, guys? I gained 10 kg in three and a half year. And I’m asking you all now, is it normal? Come on! I’m serious. Is it normal? Did I gain too much? Should I start a diet?

Sorry, need a little pause, my zipper is going down (again).

Our French class

It’s a new routine for me, started a month ago; we have a weekly French class. When I say we, it refers to Oscar, Sakti and I. Based on the same needs of practicing and memorizing our French language, we study together for about 3 hours a week. Do you know that sometimes we just need a higher goal in order to get a bigger motivation? No? So you just knew it now. We found and declared our highest goal on a first class; achieve C1 and B2 for Oscar.

Do you have an idea of what I’m talking about? Ok, just like the other language, French also have an international standard of language proficiency certifications, named DELF (Diplôme d’études en langue française) and DALF (Diplôme approfondi de la langue française). The first one certifies that the holder has the basic competency in French and an autonomous knowledge of French, the second one guarantee that the holder has an extensive knowledge of French language and mastered advanced levels of expression in special areas of study. C1, which Sakti and I will follow, is part of DALF test, and B2 is in DELF test. Having a different level of goal doesn’t put some difficulties for us, since B2 and C1 is just one level apart.

So there we are, in a café taking our dinner while presenting and discussing a subject that we prepared before. I can say that speaking French after a long time being a passive speaker is not easy at all. Having so much idea in my head and so little vocabularies at the same time really drives me crazy. But nothing can stop me to find the rainbow’s end! Oh, really love that expression!

After a month, we finally can find our rhythm. Sakti and I think that we really need a lot of reading and speaking exercises before we come up with the synthèse writing process. While Oscarlita, he found that he desperately needs a lot of grammaire exercises before starting discussing in French. Despite the different needs, we let him prepare those grammaire exercises for his good sake. And us, we continue doing the presentation and the discussion since we won’t face grammatical exercises in DELF and DALF test. But yeah, still, good grammaire will lead us to a good writing. Make sense. Keep up the good work, Oscarlita!

Last night, we have a new class member, Riri. Being a French teacher in an international school makes her a good active French speaker. What a chance for us! On her first participation, she brought an article that she usually discusses for the 10^th class, which also she believes a lot more difficult than the articles that Sakti and I brought. Huhu, right time to increase the level, guys!

So starting next week, we will discuss a harder subject based on an article which is more difficult to understand. Don’t let 10^th class student tease us, guys! Haha! Self motivation plus practices equal achievement. That’s our new formula. Hey! Why am I writing in Englissshhh???

Skirt, eye liner and beautiful nails

Nasto, on a game, asked me if I reborn which gender do I want to be; male or female?

I said, female for sure.

She replied, why?

So easy to explain, I just can’t imagine living only with pants, no skirt, neither dress. Oh what a hell!

She said she agreed with me while laughing. What a torture, long pants, short pants, long, short, long, short.

Lol! I guess that’s the reason why woman apparently a lot more attractive than man. They have various things to cover their body. They even will be so damn attractive when they don’t cover it all.

Another thing, Nasto, I added; I love eye liner! Put it in the morning, and we will look fresh all day.

Me too, adore it! She said. Another common we found.

And I found it’s disgusting when a man apply it on his eyes. Iyaks..

Sorry for the rockers and Japanese plus Korean boy band. ^^V

And last night I just found another dazzling thing being a woman; beautiful nails!

Treated my self with a manicure and pedicure treatment last week-end, I couldn’t stop adoring my nails.

No exaggerating, it’s true.

I started to stare on them, again an again.

How come I didn’t have those kinds of treatments since I was a little girl?

Momma, how could you?

But no, can’t blame her of course, since she just newly introduced to manicure and pedicure.

Well, we better be late than never, mom!

Back to the nails, I have my nails so shiny and glossy, without any kind of nail coat!

So last night, I putted some color coat to my shiny nails.

The color is, hhmmm, I guess its soft pink.

And guess what? In the elevator, restroom mirror, office door, someone’s car window, I’m showing off my beautiful colored nails while pretending tiding up my pony. Do we use that expression? Tiding up my pony?

Hahaha.. Don’t know.

Just correct me if I start making new expression, ok?

La voila! Now you find out, guys!

Why us, woman; if Nasto and I can talk on behalf all woman, LOVE BEING A WOMAN.

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Cerita negeri ini

Kami terima salammu, wahai Merapi.

Sesak memenuhi dada, abu-abu debumu.

Menunduk ampun kami padamu, Merapi.

Pedih lahar mengalir pasti di sanubari.

Kami terima kedatanganmu, wahai Tsunami.

Basah pelupuk mata ini oleh sapuanmu.

Tak kuasa kami menahan cengang, Tsunami.

Air laut memorak-morandakan nurani.

Kami terima riakmu, wahai Genangan.

Berenang ego dalam basahmu.

Sungguh kami tak memanggilmu, Genangan.

Meski kau tetap mengajak kami bermain hingga pagi lagi.

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Matahari

Hangatkan punggungku, pagi.

Isilah pundi hati ini.

Keringkan air mataku, mentari.

Cerahkan jiwa ini.

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