Surat untuk Mama

Mama, sedang apa?

Disini hujan, aku sendirian. 

Semoga hujan membawa busuk hati ini bersama deras.

Semoga tidurku kembali nyenyak seperti masa-masa di Pejaten dulu.

Sendiri, tapi tak sepi.

Mama, boleh tanya?

Boleh tidak kalau aku bilang lelah dengan semua drama?

Kini aku tahu apa makna "ingin mati saja."

Ternyata Popi juga pernah merasakan yang sama, Ma.

Ingin mati saja.

Tapi Mama, kenapa harus mati?

Prancis pun belum kukunjungi.

Korea tinggal sedikit lagi.

Tetralogi Bumi Manusia baru satu yang kubaca.

Oh iya, pengen bungee juga di Macau.

Mama, Mama yang paling tahu betapa aku selalu menjadi yang ditinggalkan, dicampakkan.

Iya kan?

Mama salah satu pelakunya.

Kala itu Mama, kala itu. Aku tak punya pilihan. Tak paham keadaan.

Hidup berlanjut berkat belas kasihan orang-orang.

Tapi kini Mama, berbeda sungguh keadaannya.

Pilihan dan keputusan semua di tanganku, di tanganku.

Apa semua jadi mudah? Tidak ternyata.

Berlebihan kalau aku bilang aku tak pantas dibeginikan?

Aku bertahan, bertahan, dengan keyakinan kehidupan yang lebih tenang.

Tapi nyatanya?

Sungguh jangan berharap terlalu keras, karena Tuhan tetap pemegang pena kehidupan.

Lucu bukan?

DijanjikanNya keadaan lebih baik, dijanjikanNya tidak akan melebihi kemampuan.

Tapi bagaimana kita tahu?

Dulu dan kini beda, Mama.

Jadi tuntutanmu agar ku lebih kuat karena terbiasa susah bertahun-tahun lalu sungguh keterlaluan kurasa.

Penasaran, sebenarnya bagaimana perasaanmu melihat kehidupanku di sini?

Malu? Kau bilang malu kalau aku menyerah?

Cih! Kata menyerah bahkan terlalu hina kudengar.

Kau paling tahu rasanya diinjak-injak.

Atau sudah lupa bagaimana rasanya?

Mengapa kini kau meminta aku menjilat semua rasa yang sama? 

Mengapa?

Seperti menunggu bom meledak.

Itu hidupku kini.

Jangan kau meratapi kalau ujungnya nasibku sama dengan Muna.

Kau tahu yang kumaksud apa, Mama.

Mama, Mamaku sayang,

Aku ingin tidur nyenyak, Mama.

Aku ingin hidup normal, bolehkah?

Aku ingin dipercayai dan dibela hingga kapanpun juga. 

Aku ingin Mama berdiri di belakangku, kapanpun di manapun.

Aku cuma punya satu Mama. 

Aku cuma mau satu Mama.

Surat untuk hati

Sungguh minggu yang tak terasa seminggu.

Pagi, siang, sore, malam terlalu cepat berganti.

Udara, air makanan masuk dan keluar tanpa sempat kusapa.

Tujuh mimpi pun semua kulupa.

Telinga, mata, sungguh kasihan mereka.

Ditempa, ditempa bertubi-tubi, tak henti.

Hati, belum sanggup kuelus lagi.

Maaf sayang, maaf. 

Kita harus bertahan, mengeraslah, membatu, asal jangan menyerpih lagi.

Sayangku hatiku, hitam juga warna.

Walau tak cerah, biar dia ikut mewarnai perjalanan kita.

Tanpanya tak bisa kita mencumbu kuning mesra.

Nyawaku, hatiku, batu juga ciptaanNya.

Bukan, bukan sesuatu yang hina.

Biar dia mengeraskan kita selama kita bisa bertahan bersama.

Batu juga, turut menghangat bersama sinar mentari.

Hatiku, kotak pandoraku, biar kita tutup saja rahasia kita.

Tak ada guna, tak ada kuasa.

Mungkin dia lupa sudah menaklukkan kita.

Dengan semua janji dan tatapan hangatnya.

Maaf karena harus menyiksamu lagi.

Maaf ku tak sanggup menyuarakan kebenaran lagi.

Maaf kita harus menghirup rasa ini lagi.

Bertahan sayang, bertahanlah.

Tanpamu, ku sungguh hanya seorang zombie.

Tips dan trik mengusir energi negatif. Hahahaa..

Berhubung ini adalah isu di awal tahun, maka demi tidak berpasrah diri bergumul di tengah lingkaran energi negatif maka pagi ini di grup chat yang berisi Dian, Anast, Dewi, Karin, Yeyen dan saya, pertanyaan dilontarkan.

Morning question: apa tips dan trik melawan energi negatif? 

1. Inhale-Exhale (Anast)
2. Mensyukuri kenikmatan yang gw punya, semuanya, bahkan hal2 yang kadang orang nggak ngeh itu nikmat (Yeyen)
3. Menggunakan nikmat yang bersifat materi; misal bikin teh, baca buku di kesunyian, dengerin lagu sambil berbaring dan cuma konsen ke lagunya (Yeyen)
4. Chat with crazy girls (Dega a.k.a Saya)
5. Nagging ke kalian (Anast)
6. Dengerin lagu yang jeduk2 dengan volume agak keras sambil mencoba 'cuci otak' dari hal2 yang negatif (Dewi)
7. Setel musik hip hop or RnB trus joget2 deh! (Yeyen)

 Tips nomor 2, 3 dan 7 akan saya coba hari ini. Sounds nice and fun! How about you all? Have special tips and tricks? Mind if you share? ;)

p.s. Kemana Dian dan Karin? Dian kemungkinan besar sudah di kelas mengajar anak2 muridnya yang cilik2. Karin? Mungkin sudah di dapur hotel menyiapkan sarapan untuk para tamu. Hwaiting gals! ^^V

 

Pernikahan dan Pelangkah(nya)

Pelangkah, sudah tak asing lagi di telinga. Saya tak ingat pasti kapan saya mulai mengenalnya, jika tak salah, 2006 ketika salah seorang sahabat menikah lebih dulu dari kakak perempuannya. Dia bercerita kalau salah satu rangkaian dari prosesi (persiapan) pernikahan adalah menyerahkan pelangkah yang kala itu adalah perhiasan emas.

Kali kedua juga dari sahabat saya yang 'dilangkahi' oleh adik perempuannya. Lagi-lagi perhiasan emas menjadi 'pil penenang' untuk si kakak agar tidak sedih karena tidak lebih dulu laku dari sang adik. Mengapa saya bilang laku? Agak kasar memang. Karena para orang tua bersikap bak pedagang di Tanah Abang yang menggantung daster dagangannya di depan toko. Tentu saja daster-daster pilihan yang dipamerkan. Daster yang lebih dulu digantung diharapkan lebih dulu dibeli tentunya, karena daster, jika terlalu lama digantung warnanya bisa pudar terkena sinar matahari, bisa berdebu hingga tak menarik lagi. 

Lebih cepat anak perempuannya menikah, lebih membanggakan. Begitu kurang lebihnya. 

Sang adik, yang merasa warnanya masih cerah dan bersih, seolah merasa tak enak pada sang kakak, sorry nih Kak, aku dipajang belakangan tapi laku duluan. Mungkin agar seolah terlihat sopan, sayang kakak, atau rendah hati, sang adik memberikan upeti pada kakak. Pelangkah. Kakak mau apa? Bilang saja. Kuberikan asal kakak senang. 

Saya sudah coba bertanya-tanya mengenai ritual pemberian pelangkah ini, konon katanya orang Jawa punya budaya. Kedua orang sahabat yang saya ceritakan tadi kebetulan memang orang Jawa. Kemudian saya temui lagi dua orang kakak yang kebetulan orang Sunda. Kali ini para kakak yang meminta pelangkah dari adik-adik mereka. Dik, kamu kan melangkahi saya. Sebagai gantinya saya minta ini itu donk. Biar semua senang, semua tenang. Kedua adik yang saya kenal dekat pusing, karena para kakak yang sudah bersama-sama begitu lamanya tiba-tiba berubah menjadi preman pemalak bak di pasar Senen saja. Mengapa lagi-lagi saya menggunakan istilah yang cukup kasar di telinga? Karena mana ada pemalak yang cukup puas mendapati hanya handphone atau jam tangan saja? 

Adik saya menikah lebih dulu, bukan melangkahi. Karena buat saya, kami berdua bukan daster. Adik saya berbahagia, saya apalagi. Tapi mama ternyata mantan pedagang di Tanah Abang juga, khawatir dia. Seyakin fogging akan memberantas seluruh nyamuk demam berdarah,seyakin itu juga bahwa pelangkah pasti akan mendatangkan pembeli daster tertuanya. Teteh mau apa? Bilang aja. 

Mama, aku nggak mau pelangkah. Karena menikah bukan sekolah, habis SD, SMP, lalu SMA. Habis kakak barulah si adik menikah. Jodoh itu tak ada rumusnya. Kalau nanti akhirnya aku tidak menikah, bukan karena pelangkah. Tapi karena ternyata rezekiku adalah tidak menikah. 

Kepada para kakak di dunia, tahukah bahwa dengan meminta pelangkah kalian menunjukkan diri sebagai kakak-kakak yang payah? Tahukah bahwa kalian sungguh terlihat menyedihkan karena melampiaskan ketidaklakuan dengan menyusahkan adik-adik kita? Tahukah bahwa jodoh sungguh Tuhan punya kuasa? Tahukah bahwa bukan tidak mungkin pintu jodoh jadi tertutup karena sebuah pelangkah yang memberatkan para adik atau orang tua kita?

Kangen Mbah Uwak

Mbah dan Wak Ani, putri keduanya

Mbah, lagi apa?

Aku baru pulang kerja, hari pertama. Jadi guru lagi, Mbah. Seperti yang Mbah suka. Mbah pengennya cucu Mbah kerja di bidang sosial, jangan cuma ngitung uang aja. Maaf ya Mbah lima tahun kemarin aku murtad jadi ibu guru. Tapi sekarang aku sudah kembali ke jalan yang lurus. Sekarang Mbah bisa mengingatku seperti dulu lagi, saat kita terakhir bertemu, saat aku masih ibu guru. Aku bahagia bisa jadi kebanggan Mbah, jadi penerus Mbah. Terus bangga padaku ya, Mbah.

Mbah, apa kabarnya?

Aku sekarang sudah tidak di Jakarta, sudah menikah, sudah jauh dari keluarga kita. Tapi aku baik-baik saja. Terasa kan, Mbah? Hidupku sudah tidak sedramatis terakhir kali kita jumpa. Tidak. Sudah baik, amat sangat baik. Allah sungguh Maha Baik, Mbah. Terima kasih karena selalu menguatkan doa-doaku, doa-doa kami. Aku bisa tahu? Tentu saja. Terasa.

Mbah, tidak kesepian kan?

Tidak boleh. Karena kita selalu sama-sama. Aku, Mbah, keluarga kita. Aku tidak kesepian lagi, karena Mbah sering mengunjungi. Tunggu aku, tunggu kami, kita semua akan sama-sama lagi nanti. Begitu janji Illahi Robbi.

 

Mbah, bahagia?

Harus. Walau hanya bisa melihat kami dari jauh, walau kami jarang mengunjungi, walau kadang masih ada ribut-ribut kecil antara kami, tapi kami saling menyayangi, Mbah. Sungguh. Mbah paling tahu itu kan? Memang iya, kami sempat jarang bersua. Tapi tidak lagi. Kini kami berkumpul tiap dua bulan sekali. Mbah Konde pun selalu berpartisipasi. Mbah Konde, kami selalu menjaganya, Mbah. Selalu. Silih berganti.

Mbah, kangen?

Aku kangen sekali.

Percakapan panjang selama di rumah sakit terpatri jelas di memori. Tatapan dan sentuhan kulit tipisnya tak bisa kurasa lagi. Tapi kebijakan dan keteguhannya harus terus kuwarisi.

Kutergila, Babar-Nazwa

Begini ya rasanya tergila-gila?

Babar-Nazwa, dua keponakanku tercinta. Mas, begitu Nazwa akan memanggil kakaknya; nanti jika si kecil Nazwa sudah bisa berbicara. Sekarang belum genap satu tahun usianya. Si Mas, baru saja menginjak empat tahun. Juni ini akan masuk TK.

Babar sudah mengerti ulang tahun dan hadiah. Bayangkan bertapa gembiranya si Mas bulan Maret lalu, tanggal dua puluh tiga. Saat sang Ompung datang membawa kue berlilin untuk ditiup setelah bernyanyi bersama, saat Eyang dan tante-tantenya datang membawa berbagai kado yang semua isinya Babar suka. Dan ditutup dengan perayaan makan sushi bersama si kecil Nazwa, Dadad dan Maminya. Aku yang mendengar pun mau berulang tahun jadinya. Haha.

Nazwa, si cantik yang melengkapi koleksi buah hati Aran & Kiki, adikku. Lahir bulan puasa tahun lalu, dengan paras yang remarkable dari hari pertama di dunia. Merah, cantik, menggemaskan. Subhanallah.

Babar-Nazwa, senangnya mengeroyok Dadad mereka. Baru saja motor Dadad diparkir di garasi, teriak mereka “Dadad pulaaanngg!!!” Si Mas yang membentuk ritual ini tak bosan mengulangnya tiap hari. Si kecil yang terlihat tak mengerti dengan apa yang Masnya lakukan belakangan ikut-ikutan melompat dan menyerang si Dadad. “Berani kamu sama aku?” kalimat menantang favorit Dadad yang membuat kedua malaikatnya semakin menggila. Babar dengan lantang memberi instruksi si adik, “Ceyaanngg!!!” 

Dua bulan sudah rasanya aku tak bertemu mereka. Rindu sekali ku dibuatnya. Kerinduan yang menyebabkan aku membuka lagi dan lagi album foto si mami di facebook. Mau ikut tergila-gila bersamaku juga?

Meninggalkan (ternyata) lebih baik daripada ditinggalkan

Selama hidup saya, ditinggalkan hampir selalu saya alami. Mudah-mudahan tak terdengar mengiba, tapi memang begitulah adanya. Mulai dari Izanami, kambing kami; mama, bapak, Beny, mantan sahabat; beberapa mantan pacar, beberapa sahabat hingga beberapa kenalan dekat. Ditinggalkan dalam arti pergi jauh secara jarak, ditinggalkan dalam arti tak ingin berhubungan lagi, hingga ditinggalkan dalam arti keduanya. Sedih.

Bertahan, menjadi agenda saya dari cerita ke cerita. Mudah-mudahan tak terdengar berlebihan, tapi memang saya tak mengada-ngada. Bertahan dari menahan rindu ingin bertemu, bertahan dari keinginan ingin menelpon dan memohon agar mereka kembali menyayangi saya lagi, juga bertahan dari hasrat membenci. Karena sungguh saya tak ingin mengisi batre kehidupan dari rasa benci. Sungguh.

Beda, dan Tuhan pun memutar rodanya membiarkan saya merasakan hal sebaliknya, meninggalkan. Meninggalkan dalam arti pertama, pergi jauh secara jarak. Setelah menikah Februari lalu, akhirnya janji saya pada suami terpenuhi, pindah ke Bandung tempat dia tinggal dan bekerja. Terpaksa? Dipaksa? Tidak. Memang saya sudah lama ingin hengkang dari Jakarta, kota kelahiran saya. Kurang lebih dari dua tahun lalu kiranya. Awal April, bukan April Mop, beriringan 1 pick up dan 2 mobil hijrahlah salah satu penghuni tetap Jakarta ke Bandung ditemani beberapa anggota keluarga. Ada yang aneh hari itu, hati saya tergolong tenang dan senang, sungguh. Tapi entah mengapa saat keluarga saya berpamitan pulang, air mata tak terbendung. Saya pun enggan memeluk dan berpamitan pada Teh Upie, sepupu terdekat saya. Lucu.

Sehari sebelumnya suami saya mengadakan farewell party dengan beberapa sahabat saya; Boiq, Nasto, Dyence & Suami, serta Dewo. Agenda kami makan malam, bercengkrama, memamerkan jaket baru kami, serta berpamitan tentunya. Tak ada rasa yang berlebihan di dada, ringan dan riang. Tapi lagi-lagi saat berpamitan dan berpelukan, dada ini seperti memohon oksigen tambahan. Sesak.

Mundur sehari sebelum itu, adalah hari terakhir saya bekerja di kantor tempat saya mengabdi selama lima tahun ini. Tugas dan barang-barang sudah saya bereskan dari seminggu sebelumnya. Sekretaris pengganti pun sudah siap guna. Dua makan siang farewell pun diadakan, keduanya kusuka; Manado dan Jepang. Konsentrasiku penuh pada makanan sambil bernostalgia tentang hari-hari yang sudah kulewati bersama keluarga keduaku di kantor ini. Ya, keluarga. Penuh tawa, tentunya. Hingga tiba-tiba pelupuk mata basah, dialiri rasa yang entah apa, sedih bercampur bahagia? Mungkin.

Kini dua minggu sudah saya lewati di kota yang berjarak tempuh tiga jam dari Jakarta ini. So far so good, that’s all I can say. Selama di sini tak ada rasa aneh lagi, saya pun tak menangis lagi. Rasanya apa ya, ringan saja. Seperti terbang di atas trampoline. Baru.

Kabar saya baik, kawan. Teteh bahagia disini, Mama. Saya siap jadi tuan rumah arisan berikutnya, Bi Nia. Aunty Ega rindu tak tertahankan, Babar-Nazwa. Kita pantas berbahagia bersama, Aran sayang. Terima kasih atas ‘rumah’ barunya, Syarif Maulana.

Wedding Preparation

Hellow sunshine! How are you all doing there?
Long time no see! Feels like decades, right?
Now I'm back! O, how I miss sharing here.
Really, I miss it like hell! I have thousand of stories to shared, dears.
About what? About the wedding, of course! Yaaayy..
Hhmm.. Lemme start with the preparation part first. Ready?

Actually, I hope these things that I'll share can help many future brides out there. O, maybe I'll put some suggestion marks also. Check it out, girls!

1. The Date
If Javanese people need some special counting ritual, not with me; a mixed Betawi-Batak. For me, a good day is a payment day. So I prefer to hold a wedding near most of people's payment day, tanggal muda. It means after 25th and before 10th. And I chose 4th.

2. The Day
If you want to hold a party in a common building venue, they have these choices: Friday Evening (7-9 pm), Saturday Morning (11am-1pm) , Saturday Evening, Sunday Morning, Sunday Evening. Friday is workday, Sunday is lazy-day, so Saturday's left. Me personally, I prefer to attend an evening party because the outfit choices are more variant and its not hot. As you know, the sun in Jakarta works too hard. Lol! So I chose, Saturday Evening!

3. The Venue
Based on experiences in attending wedding party, these are my priority: strategic (near to my house and my husband/his family's house or a hotel), enough capacity (I need space for around 1.200 people) have a good mosque (for the akad nikah), good air-conditioned, secure parking, fully carpeted, large make-up room, cooperate with many wedding vendors, passed by buses and easy to get taxi. And my choice goes to Sucofindo Building! *clapping*

4. The Catering
There are a lot of wedding vendors in Jakarta, and most of them are good. But since I don't have a car or motorcycle, means I have to take bus everywhere I go, I automatically eliminate vendors who locate far from my house. For efficiency reason, you know. People say that in wedding, guests look forward more to food than to the bride. Lol! So I need to play safe, I chose a well reputed catering, Puspa Catering; www.puspacatering.com And thankfully, their location is nearby. Most of their menus are delicious, the price is average (my mother in law said), the serving is nice, the employees are professional. I only came twice to their lovely huge office for the food tasting (they don't invite future customer to someone's wedding party for food testing, they will always invite them to their office and I found that's so right! How come you invite someone to other people's wedding? So stupid, right?), and I can easily communicate to them by mails and sms. Their respond is quite quick so I didn't waste much time in catering preparation. Their services are even too good, I think! I remembered how I was shocked when I asked about their uniform color and the table cloth they have to use on my party. Lol!

5. The Bridal
I remember how I admire Muna's look on her wedding day, she is a bestie of mine. I asked her which bridal vendor she used, Diamond; www.diamond-weddingservice.com And guess what? It's also so nearby! How lucky I am! So I went there, I asked for their wedding package, and I chose this one: Wedding make up, dress, decoration and photo-shoot. After that I was assisted by four people; assistance for bride-groom dress&make-up (Mbak Susi), family dress&make-up (Mbak Ety), decoration (another Mbak Ety) and photo-shoot (Mas Agus). Since there are a lot of things to chose and to prepared, I went to their office many times. And there was a time that I was sick of that. Lol! O ya, for your note, their office is comfortable so I don't mind spending hours there anyway.

p.s. If there's a wedding service package, why don't we take it? Let's make it simple, girls!

6. The Wedding Gown
For the wedding ceremony, I always want white, always. So I easily chose a simple white kebaya and match it with a white kain songket. Lovely! And for the wedding party gown, I accidentally saw a very stunning dress wore by a girl. I fell in love to that dress for the first time. I didn't try to put it on that time but I knew it will suit me well. For the right gown, it will come to you like a man. You just know it! ;)

p.s. I'm still in love with my wedding gown, really!

7. The Make-up
Lalallaalaaa.. I know nothing about it, really! So I let Putri, another bestie of mine, does her thing. She checked all the make-up artist works on Diamond's computers, she noted many things which I don't understand, and she finally chose a man, whom she is confident about his work, Mas Denny. We had to book him months before because there are so many brides want to be make-up by him.

p.s. Don't hesitate to ask for a help from someone who has more capacity on it.

8. The Decoration
Hhmm.. Firstly I wanted to have a simple beautiful decoration like those in western wedding. White flowers, beautiful lamps, some green and pink accent. But no, the wedding decoration here already has their standard. I've even checked to some friends wedding photos and yes, nothing's really different. They just play in flower types based on the main color chose by the bridegroom. So I spent mid-day in Diamond's office to choose all details which all look same to me. Kekeke.. About the main color, I follow my wedding gown color, terracotta.

p.s. Until now I still think that fresh flowers are the best decoration. You go with me?

9. The Photo-shoot
Me, I love camera, and I always prefer to be behind it than face it (that's why we don't have pre-wed photos). There are two photographers in Diamond, and I have to choose one. I of course choose the cheaper one. Come on! Nothing's really different about the wedding photos, only the album type, I'm sure. And I asked my photographer, Mas Agus, to not only focus on the bridegroom but also to shoot guests in candid capture.

10. The Invitation
I remember keeping a wedding invitation, a beautiful one; simple and made by kalkir paper. So I really want to have a wedding invitation mixed by it. I have my husband's uncle design it, after some editing, we finally have a nice simple wedding invitation, just like I imagined. Simple. How I love it!

p.s. No need to spend so much time and money on it, people will just throw it anyway!

11. The Musique
My husband and I are lucky being surrounded by many musicians, so instead of being confuse to search a good one, we are confuse to chose from many of them. But since my father in law has his own favorite violist (Kang Ammy), who is also now become my favorite, so we asked him to play his beautiful music on my wedding. And since I have my favorite vocalist (Dian), so I asked her to jam with my father in law favorite's violist. You see how we mix many love here?

p.s. Wanna know my wedding procession song? L'hymne a l'amour by Edith Piaf. (Just kill me!)

12. The Souvenir
All souvenirs for my wedding party are specially designed and made by my father in law and his team. How lovely, right? How he spreads so many love to this wedding party.

13. The Family & Besties Uniform
For family uniform, my husband cousin (The Tia) chose a degradation of my wedding gown color, much softer. While the mothers uniform has a little stronger color. And for the besties, we chose a degradation fabric, pink to maroon. Lovely!

14. The Procession
This part starts to give me headache, honestly. Where I should put all the family request and match it to the timetable. But just make it simple, plan is just a plan. We try to stick with it, but universe has their right to blow the wind. Just try to fly with the wind, no need to counter it.

15. The Committee
Since my husband and I have a big family, we use this event to gather them all; include, of course, my dearest besties. So we have them all work, during months, for us. And you must be blind to not see the love lights in the air!

p.s. I don't know about Wedding Organizer, maybe it's needed when you have a huge party.

I think that's all. Hope I don't miss a thing there. I'll tell you about the party, soon! *wink*

Mama Pesta, une mere pas comme les autres.

Just by now, I become prouder having a mom, like my mom. I have some reasons exclude the sentimental one:

1. Instead of asking her only daughter, "When will you marry?" she asked, "When will you continue your study?"
2. If other parents in Jakarta are proud having children work in Business District such as Sudirman-Thamrin, that doesn't go with her. This what she told me, "Why don't you re-start to work as a teacher? Working as an employee maybe sounds cool, but you won't upgrading much. Not as much as a teacher does."
3. When my besties worked hard to fulfill their mom's wishes for their wedding party, well I don't. She just gave me some amount, and leave the work to me. See how cool she is!
4. I don't have 'a must and a mustn't' list from her. She only told me to do my thing by my own way.
5. She texted me yesterday, on my bday: "Met Ultah ya, Teh. Semoga panjang umur, sehat selalu dan bertambah disayang kekasihnya. Dan segala rencana yang akan dijalani dapat berjalan dengan lancar. Dan tetap dalam lindungan Allah SWT. Amin." Now you know what I mean?

My mother has surely tamed me. Just like the little prince and the fox.

Mon Joyeux Anniversaire

B-day gal is in d houuseee!! Yaaayyy!!!

Hey ya all! Annyeong Haseyoo!! Ca va? Today's my day. I can say it that way, rite? I'm turning 28 now. What a number. *wink* How's my day so far? Smooth.

As I woke up this morning, I watched Running Man on my laptop until 8 a.m. and the consequence is I'm desperate to watch the next episode! ToT Ah, after that I was rushed to get prepared and thankfully the road seemed very kind to me. I kept my self busy along the journey, replying all the bday messages. Aaaa.. How I love it! A day when universe pray for my good without being asked or paid. Lol! How about my wish? My wish is just like everybody's wishes. They really send me very sweet wishes. And all I have to do is say, Ameeenn... =)

I no longer have the bday euphoria like years ago, I also don't have list of cadeau like I used to, I don't have bday cake with candles like I always have since years, I don't hold a small or big bday party, no more party. All I do have is a complete me. A 28 years old girl; with healthy mind and body, a happy soul, a dazzling histories and also surrounded with like million lovable people. How can I ask for more, then?

A perfect life from the perfect 10 (I was born on October -ten- 10th at 10 pm). Happy birthdaaayyy!!!! Biseeesss.... (Yes! I'm kissing myself!) Lol!

Joyeux Anniversaire!! 생일 축하 해요!! Happy Birthdaayy!!! Selamat Ulang Tahun!!!

Beyonce and I

Gals, do you match your nail polish with your outfit?

I'm a little bit nervous here, whether I should put the same color as my wedding gown, or just a color in the same tone, or it's fine to put a really different one! Aiisshh.. How do you think? Hmm.. honestly, I'm in love with a color, the one that Beyonce use on her latest video, Best Thing I Never Had. Check this out:

Gold! It's gold, right? Isn't it beautiful?? I will also wear white for the wedding vow, but another color for the party. But I think both are goes with gold. *more like talking to myself*

But oh but, a bestie said that red is the best one. Hhmm.. Red is good, but since all the bride in town always put red nail polish for their wedding, it doesn't kinda fit me. A you know, I don't like to be common, gals. Even it's inevitable sometimes. Lol!

Okay, I think I'll do nail polish hunting this evening, after work. Let's see if universe agree with me and Beyonce. *wink*
Have a happy week-end everyone!

Running Man!

Annyenong haseyooo!!!
Me back here. Kinda very busy lately, that's the reason for being disappear. Busy for some things; the trip, the wed, work, and running man! Running man??? 예.

This running man really ruined my biological hour! 정말!
And just like a teenager, my head only filled with those people; Yoo Jae-suk, Ji Suk-jin, Kim Jong-kook, Gary, Ha-ha, Lee Kwang-su, Song Ji-hyo, and Song Joong-Ki, and their acts. Aigoo..
They make me laugh to cry in the middle of the night, aiisshh... This variety show, somehow, brighten up my life so much. Instead of the sleepy attack at the office. Lol!

I was watching 24th episode this morning, and can't wait to continue this evening. Yay!! And also, to copy more episodes from Nasto this week-end. *wink* Isn't that daebaakk???

p.s. Sorry, just trying to apply some Korean words that I learn.

From cousinhood to neighbourhood

I love the title there!

Do you know why family can tie you no mater how far you go? Cos its blood. Indeed! That's why people say 'blood is thicker than water.' In my experience, no mater how hard we deny our root, the life will spinning and spinning to a circle and bring us back to the root, and all you can do is just say 'bye' to the highest leaf.

Do you know why friendship is one of the biggest miracle on earth? Cos it needs no blood. Indeed! Frank Crane even say 'a friend is a person with whom you dare to be yourself." In my experience too, once we found our true friend, never be careless to tie her/him up to you. Because a friend, will always come to you, light you, smile and even cry for you, no matter how fast the life is spinning around.

Do you know that a friend in family is priceless? It is. Indeed! You have the thickness of the same blood and a person to be together with in light and dark moments. Just because, she never wants to live her life without you. Because this friend, is always looking for you to share her day, to wipe her tears, and to laugh the stupidity she made. I have one.


Do you know a girl named Upie? No, she's no longer a girl, a woman now. I call her T'Upiel. T is from teteh, an appellation for older girl in Sundanese. Upiel is from Palupi, her name. I make that nickname. *wink* She is a dearest cousin of mine, a little older than me. (How nice I am, I put 'a little older there, Lol!) She is a friend of mine too. In the third category I described up there. I know, how lucky I am, right?

Do you know that last weekend she added a new label in my life? A neighbor. Looks like two are not enough for her! Lol! Hardly looked for a house to rent for weeks, finally we found an available small house that she desires which is only separated two doors from mine. That is coincidence! True. After some administration steps, she moved there; she and her husband. Yay!

Do you know how it feels? Well I just know it. A strange good feeling, to always be near.

And I'm, rejected!

As I planned on my resolution's list, I'm about to donate my blood four times this year. Do you know that our body need at least three months to be healed after the donation? That's according to the doctors who I surely don't remember the name. Those who do the check up things before we donate.

It went well on February and June, but yesterday, after three months and two days since my last donation, an unexpected thing happened. As usually, after giving the donor card and signing a form, I have my health checked by a doctor. That day, by doctors; a woman and a man. My weight was measured, my blood pressure was checked, both are okay. And then my blood PH; the doctor will take some blood from my finger, put it in a little straw (What? For me it is a straw!), and drop it to a bowl where there is a blue liquid. If your blood PH is good, your blood will drown in. But if not, then you need more calcium. Mine, they drown for a second and then floating. Lol!

The doctors asked if I eat well lately, I did! Did I eat enough meat? Come on, what else do we eat in Lebaran? So, they suggested me to consume vitamin for blood and eat more fresh meat and veggie to have enough calcium. And come back after three days.

Beware, an omnivore is having a deadline here! Lol!

Blood

It's two pieces!

Yesterday, I worked out after work and continued with swimming. You know that I prefer to swim at night than in the morning? Yes, I do! Less light, less heat and less crowd. Lovely! If I want to swim, I don't go to the closest gym to the office cause it doesn't have any pool. The one who has it is near Dyence's office, my bestie. Not far, only about 15 minutes to go there, by bus.

Here's the timetable; Arrived there at 5.20 pm and started to work out around 5.30 until 6.10, I prayed maghrib and changed the outfit for about 20 minutes. Continued to swim from 6.30 until 7.00, after that I needed 30 minutes to take a warm bath, change clothes and pack my things. And the night is wrapped with cup of tea, biscuits and a little chat with Sakti, my gym partner.

O, that's not the point! All I wanna share is about my swimsuit last night. Lol! Me started to swim since my childhood. It was my dear mom who introduced this best sport in universe. Okay I'm biased, sorry. She bought me a one piece blue strips swimsuit, a very nice one. I wore it to learn swimming in a sport club where she registered me when I was six. We went there twice a week. I looked so gorgeous with that blue strips suit and a blue mini buoy! ;p

I couldn't get in to that suit again when I was in junior high school. And mom bought me a new one, it was red, with three colors of strip at front. Not really like it cause the model is so common. Sorry, mom! Fortunately that suit didn't last long, I accidentally ironed the skirt. Lol! Accidentally I said, accidentally. And I separated with that poor red swimsuit.

Since that, I borrowed my auntie's or my bestie's swimsuit when I swam. I know, that wasn't cool and hygiene. But, what can I say? Lack of money, that was the only reason. But o but, on my second year on work world, I finally bought a swimsuit by my own money. Yay! I chose a one piece suit on leopard motif. Aaauummm... I wear it with a big confidence of my body shape on that while on TV and magazines, ladies nowadays wear more and more bikini in pool. And I found that hot!

And my dearest Karcut, another bestie of mine, answered it. She bought me a bikini, a beautiful one! O gosh! It's two pieces swimsuit with another piece of (something like) skirt to cover my body on my way to pool, all in rainbow's motif. Love it! O, I should've took a picture of it! Later, kay! I intend to wear that in Phuket. Yaaayy!! It's about one more month and two weeks. Can't wait! Really can't wait, so I wore it last night at the pool. Kekekee.. Somehow, the B makes me feel so light and hot. (No curse, please..)

It's two pieces and makes me look like hotties! *finger crossed*

What u r up to?

Hey yo all!
Quoi de neuf? It's been a loooooooonnnggg time since my last post here. No other reason except my laziness. If 'not in the mood' doesn't counted as a reason. Lol!

What you all are up to? Me, have numbers of things to do on my list until next February. But before I share it, I wish to greet people in my life.

To my dear Karcut; Your backpack arrive already! Our holiday comes closer, darling! Yaaayy!!
To dearest Sarap; Miss you already, even when you haven't reached the airport yet! Lol! Tell my warm greeting to Seoul! Annyeong!!
To Yenq cherie; O please contact me ASAP, have a great job offer here, darling! ;)
To Bastien; Bonne chance for your 1st day at work! Break a leg! ^^V

My Ramadhan passed smoothly, Alhamdulillah. I wasn't sick, really fit indeed, just not like my precedents Ramadhan. I won't share much about it, prefer it to be our secret, just me and Ramadhan. =)

Despite of the cookies sale which isn't as good as last year, my Lebaran is still an extraordinary one. Thanks to Indonesian government. Lol! Well okay, no need to discuss it more. The most important thing is just, you, me, Lebaran peacefully!

And my days after Lebaran is colored with marriage preparation. Tiring yet fun! I know that I'm not a detail person, but since it's my marriage, my effort has to be all out. But no, I have a great team also! ;) After started with the venue and vendors, finally yesterday the gown and theme have been chosen, the decor and food also. Now we continue with crazy little things called details. Aiisshh.. Courage! *and now I salute to all woman who manage their wedding by their own self*

What else? O, future career! Since I'm a self motivated type, I'm still keeping that fire of scholarship. Checked the Erasmus Mundus site, probably they will open the new recruitment this October. Monsieur Jimmy agreed to give me his letter of recommendation. Yaaayy!! so I still have time while asking one more professor. Semangat!!! ^^V

Btw, have I told you that after marriage I will move to another city? Yes, I will! Leaving this biggest city where I was born and always live is such a big decision I made. Scared? Nope. I'm just preparing for the changes and the new rhythm I will have there. O, after Lebaran I accidentally met a lady who work at CCF in that city and she suggested me to send my CV there. Hope I can make it!

So those are my 'to do' list. Wish me a good luck, guys!
Now tell me yours!

Fit through the gym

Ay! Ay! Here I come..

You all there? Sorry for being disappear lately. An update from me; new goal is in the house! Yaaayy!! What goal? What goal? Being fit while body shaping like a devil lady. Lol!

I always love a Latin quotation "Mens sana in corpore sano;" a sound mind in a sound body; di dalam tubuh yang kuat terdapat jiwa yang sehat. A motivation to be balance, body and mind. I'm having tons of ways to feeding my mind, but my body? I'm feeding it too, literally. Lol! Sites and books for health always explain that basically, to have a healthy body, we have to eat right, drink enough water, rest well and do some exercise. I'm done with the three one, but not with the last mentioned. It's kinda hard to remember when was the last time I work out.

But if, walking categorized as a sport, then I do my sport since this seven months. To be total, I walk for about thirty minutes a day, on a medium track. I said medium because the altitude is kinda extreme. Sometimes I found the track is easy to make, but often time, I lose my breath while walking. Fyuuuhh.. At the same time, my baby is complaining about how often I being sick. Ya, ya, I do complaining about my body, "I feel pain here, there, now here again, and there again, and so on, and so on." And he's sick of that! Lol!

Sakti, a friend of mine, invited me several times to swim on a gym where he is a member. Being a member for more than a year, he can bring a friend there on week-end. And there was I, in a non-crowded swimming pool with people who were doing their sport, not those who are flirting around who I usually found in public swimming pool. Love it! And the last time there, Sakti asked if I wanted to try fitness. Of course I did! And I kinda love it.

And since that day, I also become a member. Yaay!! I decided to work out in a gym which is not far from my office. So I can do my sport after work hours. For the first time, Sakti accompanied me, it was soooo crowded, full of people! Instead of working out seriously, I was enjoying watching motivated people there. Actually people said, and I agreed, fitness is just another new lifestyle of urban people. But what I found out there is not exactly like that. Yes, maybe there are some who go to the gym as a lifestyle, but there are also plenty of them, who are more numerous, who want to do a sport. Really! And just like urban people, the member are varied; the style, origin, outfit and goal.

Each member has a Personal Trainer, mine named Hasan. At our first meet, he asked me about my physical activities, motivation and goal. So we made a goal, "I want to look stunning on my wedding dress." And he noted it, very well. What we did on three days of exercise are: He measured my body mass index, the results are my fat condition is poor, my body keeps too much water in it and I have to lose four kilos. Not hard, he said. And I take it as a motivation. Lol! He also pushed me to do some exercises into my maximal capacity, and those brought me to pain for days! Really. After that three days, he make a program for me.

First, I can't consume carbohydrates after six pm. No more noodles, at least once a month, I was bargaining. Hehe.. Do the sport three times a week, at least. Ok! I'm on, PT! Tomorrow night will be my first month there, and I'm really excited to do more exercises. Being fit, body shaping, sound body, here I come!! Euh, stick with me, Mr.PT! ;)

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Passions of Mine..

Human - Books - Language - Fashion - Photography - Healthy Life - Movies - Scrabble - Charming Man - Petit Prince - Poetry - Writing - Cooking - Teaching - Studying - Traveling - Swimming - Smiling - Miracle - (and am always ready to continue the list).

"Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things."
(Denis Diderot)

Aku Ingin - Sapardi Djoko Damono

Aku diam. Ku berpikir. Boleh tidak mempersembahkan karya orang lain untuk seseorang? Entah.

Aku diam. Ku berpikir. Karya ini sungguh indah dan mewakili rasa, sungguhkah tak boleh? Entah.

Aku diam. Ku berpikir. Tak ada niat mengakui dan menjiplak, sungguh tak ada niatan. Boleh yah?

Aku diam. Ku berpikir. Bukan tak mungkin penulis lebih terharu mengetahui isi hatinya mewakili milikku juga.

Om Sapardi Djoko Damono, aku pinjam puisi indahnya, ya. Terima kasih.
Kepada yang terkasih, Syarif Maulana. Kupersembahkan untukmu.

Aku Ingin

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada.

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Perpustakaan, Library, Bibliotheque and Us.

Ada yang baru di hidupku dan Nasto. We are now the member of CCF (Centre Culturel Francais) and LIA (Lembaga Indonesia Amerika) library, yay!! Nous nous sommes inscrites au mois de mei. Di CCF kami bisa meminjam buku dan film dalam bahasa Prancis, dan buku-buku berbahasa Inggris dan Indonesia di LIA. Dewi who is a loyal member of LIA library always join us. Et c'est toujours samedi, une fois par mois où nous y allons.

Sejak masa kuliah dulu, suasana CCF Salemba selalu mampu menghipnotisku. Calm, comfort, modern and the most important thing, I'm surrounded by books! Quel bonheur! Dari tiga CCF yang pernah kukunjungi; Salemba, Wijaya dan Purnawarman, ketiganya bertempat di rumah "tua". Not a gloomy house, but a warm white big house, so typically 80's houses. Des types des maisons que je voudrais bien avoir. Perpustakaan CCF di Salemba terdiri dari dua lantai, tempat favoritku di lantai dua. After chose the books, I take it upstairs, take a seat in a comfort black sofa, put headphone which play French music, and the world is mine. D'habitude je peux passer des heures là-bas, sauf si tout d'un coup il y a des autres visiteurs qui bougent trop. Meski tak terganggu oleh suaranya, tapi apapun yang bergerak seringkali meresahkan ketenangan membacaku. But usually there are not many people on Saturday morning. C'est pourquoi nous préférons d'y arriver des que la bibliothèque ouvre jusqu'au midi où habituellement on devient de plus en plus nombreux.

Setelah jeda makan siang dan sholat, lanjutlah kami ke LIA naik bajaj. FYI, LIA is not far from CCF, so it's really a good thing for us. Le bâtiment de LIA est grand et a l'air froid. Sungguh kebalikan dari CCF. The library is on the 4th floor and it also has two floors. Si celle de CCF est confortable et bien climatisée, ici on n'a pas des fauteils et il fait aussi un peu chaud à cause du climatiseur qui ne fonctionne pas bien, je pense. Karena itu lah kami tak menghabiskan banyak waktu di sana. Despite of spending time reading, we only look for books we like to borrow, have them scanned and go out straightaway. Et c'est des séries de Penguin Readers, mes préférés. Dan entah kebetulan atau tidak, ada dua orang petugas perpustakaan baik di CCF maupun LIA. Both of them are so really nice! Ca tellement me rend plus folie d'elles (des biblios).

Selain buku, aku pernah meminjam film di CCF. But since the time limit is only a week, I prefer to watch it there. Il y a aussi des télés qui présentent TV5, la chaine française. Pernah satu kali aku dan Nasto menontonnya. It was a quiz, arranging letters to a word. Le participant qui peut arranger un mot le plus long, il gagne. Kuis yang seru! We enjoyed it so much! Mais comme c'était l'heure, on ne l'a pas vue jusqu'à la fin.

Begitulah! The way we have fun. On aime beaucoup la bibliothèque, les livres, les films, les lettres, les mots, tous, tous!

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