Monday, February 21, 2011

Feel like a grown up

Somehow, lately I feel like a grown up. A lady, a wise sister, an executive secretary, an expert Jakartanaise. Such a rare thing in my life. As a grown up hater, I always describe myself as "une fille qui n'aime et ne veut pas devenir adulte." Well, it's just because in my entire life the adults never make their self as a good role model. I often adore kids who act much wiser than those who describe their self as an adult.

But life start to open a new chapter for me, I guess. Lately I can see things from several point of view, where everything seems clearer to see, to be understood. I might say that the adults stand in a circle, where they don't have an angle to choose. They have to see, hear and analyze from every side. And children, they can easily choose one side in a circle and put that as an angle. So they can simply see, hear and analyze things from their side. I'm not saying that the adults always see things more complicated than the children do, but yes, somehow it looks like that. They seem to loose their capacity in simplify things. Is this life is truly simple or its the childhood who has the true simplicity?

As for me, I'm loosing my simplicity in seeing things. Well that I know for sure. I don't know when it has begun, but I know that nothing's simple is left. Even how hard I try to see them just like the way they are, another things suddenly shadowing and the focus seem harder to be found. I often feel jealous to them, kids who still have purity and that clear shiny eyes.

But despite that complexity we have, the adults, another good things actually come at the same time. A new peaceful feeling and a big confidence to conquer this life, wiser. Why do I choose "wiser", because I think the new spirit has difference from the precedent. It contents calmness, readiness, and an invisible well-preparedness.

New feelings, hopefully will bring me to a brighter new windows. Hello, sunshine! Here I come, a new grown up! ;)

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